Wisps of memories

I took a walk back to the past on Sat. I felt that it was something I had to do as I turned one year older.

I had to see how much has changed since I left.

Mum was a little suspicious when I asked her for the address where we used to stay until we moved away when I was eight.

It was a gloriously wet day while I made my way, uncertainly to the block. I have no sense of direction here whatsoever. Then, I saw the spot where I used to wait, dewy-eyed with Im for the morning school bus, which upon boarding I would promptly lie across the entire seat and continue my nightcap. I took the lift up. The good thing about public housing here, is that the doors are always shut, so I could make my way around without people being suspicious. Though there was a little old lady who was very curious why I was walking down so many floors and missing the lift landing entirely.

There is now a fountain next to the block, and an open air badminton court on the other side. The block has been painted bright hues of yellow, coral and orange. I can't recall what colours they used to be. I wandered around looking for places or things which could evoke my memory. Nothing. Nothing, except that spot I used to wait with Im. I remember slamming my entire self against my parent's bedroom door once as I was too sleepy to see where I was going in the morning. I recall wearing my home garb to school as I assumed that one set has been left at Grandma's. I remember the long journeys home from Grandma's as I peer out behind the car wandering why the moon was following us. Where is my childhood? Was it a blank?

I had to go to Flynn Park. It was where I spent my most memorable childhood years. I was needless to say, a little upset I could not find what I was looking for in JW. I wandered around JW for a while, taking in what it is like now. And the most pleasant surprise was stumbling upon an old barbershop where the barbers are all old and wizened. One of them was cleaning out a customer's ear. I haven't seen this in Singapore before with my own eyes. A naked lightbulb was placed strategically over the customer's ear and the barber looked like he was tickling his ear. I should have taken out my camera at this point and snap. But I didn't. I walked back. But the customer had gone. In his place was a little boy, who looked very sorry he was having a haircut. My kodak moment was gone.

Ironically, I'm currently staying in the same neighbourhood as my JW school bus driver. He is always pleasantly surprised when I wave to him. "You still remember me?" I'm surprised myself that I remember how he and his wife looks like, as I cannot remember much of JW.

I decided to try and go by west coast park on my way to Flynn Park. Afterall, it is where me, YZ, YY, Julynn, Kerry, Yvonne and Thomas spent a lot of our time building the ugliest sand-castles known to mankind and picking dainty shells, which I tried to grow weeds from. I hopped on the wrong bus. I was unable to see the park at all. I remember being there once in 2001, after the reclaimation, a little dismayed to find the landscape of my playground altered. Now ships and tuggers transporting new cars to our island dot the coast line.

Passed by the fish market which we used to go with Mum. It was being torn down. Where were the golden showers trees which we used to bypass? I remembered once making my parents stop by the side of the road while I run into the field and pluck a whole bunch of golden showers. I gazed at it, amazed at how well-formed the pretty flowers are. Now new residences has sprung up. The trees are no more.

The old colonial house at the road, was however, still standing. It was undergoing some renovation. Afraid that they would be tearing it down, I started snapping. Then I realised the owner, a bent old lady in the garden, peering at me. Oops. The food centre which sold our beloved roti prata and roti john are no longer there. Even the overhead bridge we used to crossed had been replaced. The bridge YZ used to have a fear of crossing as he thought it would collapse. The community centre where we used to go for art lessons is also no longer around.

The security guard waved me in. That was easy. It looks the same. Then I turn around the bend. There it is. Where I lived. Why does the slope no longer seem as steep. Maybe because I am taller now. It was where we used to tear down on our bikes, racing each other, trying with no hands, and being a safety hazard to drivers trying to turn in. What have they done to the hibicus bushes? There were only 2 left. Even the carpark seemed smaller than I remembered. I was going to make my way up. Then there were residents tottering around. It is different from public housing where everyone lives in anonym. I was going to take shots, but it seems a little weird and I can imagine I would have a difficult time explaining what I was doing. But I took a quick look notheless. The run up to 01-06 no longer seemed tough. How different from a short nine year old who gets out of breath running that stretch. Then I heard it.

I really need to thank my parents for choosing this place for us to grow up. It was where we pretended we were red indians on a quest to discover new land, where we grew papaya trees and whatever not with the seeds we'd save after every meal, where we would climb all over the hills and slopes in the estate looking for "bears". It was where hibiscus were plentiful and classmates were always in awe when I bring them a different coloured one each time. It was where I saw my first green pigeon, albeit a dead one. I remember burying the pigeon and solemnly wished that no other bird in the estate would suffer the same fate. I was walking past Julynn's old place when I heard it. A bird call not commonly heard. I'd wished I am more well-read. I so dearly would love to find out if it is that of a green pigeon.

I went up to the pool area. What I saw brought a rush of goosebumps. There was a bunch of kids horsing around, not unlike us. They were about the same age too. Chatting very loudly and splashing around. I never did make my way to the sandpit. Perhaps it is no longer there. I never asked Mum if any of our old neighbours still lived there. What would Kerry be like now? I bumped into Julynn in 1998. She was then already taller than me despite being 5 years younger.

I took one snap and left. I walked past two kids who were rollerblading and trying to dribble a basketball at the same time. Typical, the things kids do. Did I find what I was looking for? I think so. I think I did.